Bigger, Hairier and Closer to the Ground

I once climbed Mystery Mountain 
To see the prophet there
A troglydite named Old Man Mose
I begged of him to share
Some words to give me heads up
On the changes coming down
He said
"Bigger (bigger), hairier, 
And closer to the ground".

		(CHORUS)

BIGGER (BIGGER), HAIRIER, 
	AND CLOSER TO THE GROUND
THESE WORDS DESCRIBE OUR AWFUL LOT
AS WHAT WENT UP COMES DOWN
YOU CAN KEEP YOUR EYES TURNED TOWARD THE SKY
BUT YOUR BODY PARTS ARE BOUND 
TO GET BIGGER (BIGGER), HAIRIER, 
AND CLOSER TO THE GROUND


At first I thought that Old Man Mose
Did not know straight from round
Until my sweetie looked at me 
And told me with a frown
"Be sure to shave your ears and nose
Before you head uptown
'Cause they're 
Bigger (bigger), hairier and closer to the ground".


Now we all face life's changes
That's been true since Adam's fall
This morning when I donned my pants
I thought I ate a basketball
Some parts of me ARE larger 
I'm up by thirty pounds
But I wear the same belt I did then
Just ...closer to the ground.

      (Optional Woman's Verse -- not on mp3 file)	

I don't give in so easily
To sayings and old saws
Just ignore the wattles there
Beneath your sagging jaws
I'd defy earth's gravity
Foundations proud and straight
If I could work with the engineer 
Who built the Golden Gate


You'll find that as the years roll by
Old Father Time plays rough
Home's your kingdom's castle still
But once a knight's enough
I'm talkin' about the things to come
As the wheels of time grind down
They'll be bigger (bigger) hairier and 
Closer to the ground